We learn we’re the 15th most popular comedy podcast in Niger. We challenge the very meaning of what it means to be a xylophone. Xylophone is the X in our Phonetic Alphabet. Jon knows a lot of instruments, but Jen Carlson wants to know about xylophones. Glen tells some stories about high school to stall for time. Jon famously dated Mariah Carey for a while. If you’re looking for anyone to say an unkind word […]
Go ahead and rate and subscribe please. Recumbent bicycles are the Squatty Potties of bicycles. Glen didn’t die on the way home from recording this episode like he thought he might. Recumbent bicycles have real, measurable advantages over traditional bicycles and are great for the environment, but boy howdy do they make you look like a real dinkus. Ed Begley Jr. loves these things (we think?) That Dyson vacuum guy invented them probably. Evan Williamson […]
We are nude and tied up this week. How do they work? Jerk a nail on a magnet and make a magnet. Mystery Science Theater 3000 is just real good and we both like it a lot. The Good Place is the Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie of TV shows.
It’s the return or ASMR Jon. This episode is NOT about toast sandwiches, but this one is. We invent the coconut jock strap. Glen’s daughter still has Halloween candy, and some of it is coconut-based which has led Glen to blacklisting some of his neighbors. Coconuts are comprised of a big green summabitch and a little brown jammy. Pineapples are better than coconuts, and Glen’s really into arson now for some reason? Jonny Coconuts went […]
Jon discovers ASMR Narrowly avoided a Lucky Number Slevin episode Creed Bratton, Glen’s personal friend (they met exactly one time when Glen opened for him), was a member of The Grass Roots That fact impressed Bill Tickle Their big hit was Bill Tickle’s favorite jam, “Love Wheel” about one of the wheel’s on Creed’s first car Glen knows nothing about any band that isn’t Harvey Danger Grass, a plant, pulls water from the ground with its […]
Goofus, Bitey, and Side-Eyeballs were the Street Sharks. Bitey was the tiger shark. Tiger sharks live in the pacific ocean but also sometimes on the land. That’s why nobody expects to be attacked by a shark in the jungle. Kingdom: Animalea Phylum: Sharkey Order: Cheetera Family: Street Sharks Genus: Teethy Species: Stripey Bite Fish Tiger sharks ranges between 2.5′ to 3.5′ feet long and weight some kilograms but nobody knows what a kilogram actually weighs. […]
Shout out to George Dickle. Doug Phonetic invented the first phonetic alphabet in an opium den and everyone thought he was a madman until radios were invented. This week’s show brought to you by QWERTY Keyboards. QWERTY Keyboards, Fuck you DVORAK!
What is Hollow Earth Theory and why is it stupid? Did Tarzan ever climb in the Earth’s butthole and fight a dinosaur? Did Jeffrey Dahmer ever throw a party? Glen accidentally invents a new religion. Are we in the balloon or out of it? It’s dumb either way. Glen and Jon don’t agree on the Watchmen movie, but do agree that Zack Snyder is bad. Glen makes a joke about Cadbury Cream Eggs he’s not […]
IT’S A SUPERIOR FORMAT, DOUG Nobody abbreviates LaserDisc or BluRay, nor should they. VHS can suck it. ET and Jaws are basically the same. What even is analog though? Learn about a sandwich John Loves. The Voyager probes are all up in the Ort Cloud.
Long road to get to the topic this week due to our nation’s crumbling infrastructure, specifically a water main under Glen’s house. Did mole people break the pipe trying to take over the surface world? Yes. Almost definitely they did. Was HG Wells a mole person? Again. Yes. You can write a whole book about mole people and get it published without any verifiable facts so someone should let Jon and Glen do exactly that. […]