IMPORTANT: We’re doing a live episode TOMORROW 9/14 at the Baltimore Podcast Festival! Come to The Crown at 6:30 for a FREE SHOW. We’re on the lineup with some other great shows and we go on at 7:45 so be cool and come on out. Glen loses it again trying to guess what A&W stands for. Taco Bell will replace meat with black beans in anything they make if you ask them to. The pizza […]
Stratego
It’s pronounced (struh-tee-jo). James R. Frontbutt invented Stratego. Glen and Jon like smashin’ pieces together. One is the loneliest number and Stratego piece. 9’s are basically pawns from chess (Jon brought up chess first this time!) Players think more about where to put pieces than is probably necessary. Nobody knows what the S piece stands for or does. (It stands for “sneaky boy”) L’ATTACK!
The Crying Game
The frog is saying, “Why’d you sting me?” and the scorpion is saying, “That’s my whole deal.” Neither of these fools has seen The Crying Game so this one’s buck wild. The Crying Game could have been a book, but it’s definitely also a song. Jon and Glen accidentally wrote a pretty solid amish teen murder comedy. The Crying Game sounds really intense but we’ve still never seen it. We won’t watch it and you can’t […]
Parrots
Mini-sode or “Little Buddy” this week. Score doesn’t matter. (It never matters.) Parrots can be sad jealous lonely birds that live basically forever. Justin Passino would make a better pet than a parrot would. Maybe Glen’s neighbors have a bird? Ecuador is wall-to-wall parrots. Comedian Frank Caliendo is 7 parrots in a trench coat, but so are a lot of things.
Sesame Street
You get to Sesame Street by following your heart. Bert and Ernie gonna regulate. Appearing on Sesame Street is a career goal of Glen’s. Getting kidney stones pulverized is a sometimes food. Telly is barely keeping it together. Sesame Street did a 9/11 episode. Oscar the Grouch isn’t a Time Lord but he’s got like two things in common with Time Lords.
Bluetooth Headphones
Ole’ King Blue Tooth died of copper toxicity probably. Glen used to review Bluetooth headphones. Bluetooth was built to make computers talk to each other real close. Tim Cook has weird ears and Apple headphones are bad. A lot of grumpuses this episode. Rate and subscribe in iTunes please.
Ferrets
Ferrets got stank glands. Names for ferrets: Tube rats, stretchy moles, elongated hamster, hotdog vole, drinking straw mouse, play-doh snake rodent, the flightless linguine bat. Ferrets aren’t real. They’re cryptids like bigfoot. Glen had another kid. This week’s episode brought to you by Umbrellas. Is It Raining? Get One!
Podcasts
James Taylor wrote Hash Pipe and a lot of the Green Album. We’re legally required to mention Serial. People complaining about vocal fry are dumb idiots. Podcasts were invented by someone at MTV maybe? Jon’s pretty sure. Brought to you this week by The Batsignal. Batman is tired. Subscribe and rate our show please.
Air Conditioning
Wilson and Willis are basically the same name and Wilson/Willis Carrier invented air conditioning to save comedy. We said Richie Warmkessel was bad but he’s our friend. Love that frosty air! 5,050 btu/hr is the optimal btu/hr. Bill and Pam Tickle are ice cold. You make freeon by crushing up diamonds or something. Patrick Stewart should have been Mr. Freeze instead of Arnold. PRINTING PRESS!
Ibogaine
Ibogaine is definitely something. It’s the smell inside of a mascot mask. A drug probably? Richie Warmkessel is bad. Some celebrities died from ibogaine abuse… probably? Andre the Giant was 17 feet tall when he died. Always keep Safe Search on when looking for Zootopia characters. Subscribe in iTunes or wherever you get podcasts. Pocket Casts is a really good podcast app.