Jon descends into madness this week while chronically his feelings about not being on the episode last week.
Jon’s Feelings?
States and Their Capitols (Little Buddy)
Glen is flying solo this week because he’s been traveling. He tries to recreate the magic of his perfect score on a 5th Grade test labeling a blank map of the United States with state names and capitols. He does not.
Dr. Robotnik (Eggman)
Sometimes you gotta get weird. Branch out. Make laser noises. Dr. Robotnik’s backstory is buck wild. He’s a round man who likes to be in round things. He stole all the animals except Sonic and Tails. Hedgehogs are dumb and bad at running, so Robotnik should really have been better at catching Sonic. The silly cartoon Sonic is better than the serious cartoon Sonic. Jon reveals the ultimate secret of Sonic & Knuckles and when […]
Marshmallow
Get some hot nut butter down your gullet and enjoy this week’s episode. Get some sugar and gelatin and whip that business up. You can make marshmallows at home but honestly it’s just not worth it. Words and bugs are different. Marshmallow is also an herb that they made a bad candy from, but it’s not in marshmallows now. Eat bugs. Marshmallow Peeps are delicious but Glen hates their lifeless doll eyes. Swallow the king […]
Xylophones
We learn we’re the 15th most popular comedy podcast in Niger. We challenge the very meaning of what it means to be a xylophone. Xylophone is the X in our Phonetic Alphabet. Jon knows a lot of instruments, but Jen Carlson wants to know about xylophones. Glen tells some stories about high school to stall for time. Jon famously dated Mariah Carey for a while. If you’re looking for anyone to say an unkind word […]
Recumbent Bicycles
Go ahead and rate and subscribe please. Recumbent bicycles are the Squatty Potties of bicycles. Glen didn’t die on the way home from recording this episode like he thought he might. Recumbent bicycles have real, measurable advantages over traditional bicycles and are great for the environment, but boy howdy do they make you look like a real dinkus. Ed Begley Jr. loves these things (we think?) That Dyson vacuum guy invented them probably. Evan Williamson […]
Magnets
We are nude and tied up this week. How do they work? Jerk a nail on a magnet and make a magnet. Mystery Science Theater 3000 is just real good and we both like it a lot. The Good Place is the Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie of TV shows.
Coconuts
It’s the return or ASMR Jon. This episode is NOT about toast sandwiches, but this one is. We invent the coconut jock strap. Glen’s daughter still has Halloween candy, and some of it is coconut-based which has led Glen to blacklisting some of his neighbors. Coconuts are comprised of a big green summabitch and a little brown jammy. Pineapples are better than coconuts, and Glen’s really into arson now for some reason? Jonny Coconuts went […]
The Grass Roots
Jon discovers ASMR Narrowly avoided a Lucky Number Slevin episode Creed Bratton, Glen’s personal friend (they met exactly one time when Glen opened for him), was a member of The Grass Roots That fact impressed Bill Tickle Their big hit was Bill Tickle’s favorite jam, “Love Wheel” about one of the wheel’s on Creed’s first car Glen knows nothing about any band that isn’t Harvey Danger Grass, a plant, pulls water from the ground with its […]
Tiger Sharks (Live at SteelStacks Improv Festival)
Goofus, Bitey, and Side-Eyeballs were the Street Sharks. Bitey was the tiger shark. Tiger sharks live in the pacific ocean but also sometimes on the land. That’s why nobody expects to be attacked by a shark in the jungle. Kingdom: Animalea Phylum: Sharkey Order: Cheetera Family: Street Sharks Genus: Teethy Species: Stripey Bite Fish Tiger sharks ranges between 2.5′ to 3.5′ feet long and weight some kilograms but nobody knows what a kilogram actually weighs. […]