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Series: Improvised Wikipedia

Comedians Glen Tickle and Jon Lunger attempt to rewrite a random Wikipedia entry each week with just their wits and total nonsense.

Days of the Week

Improvised Wikipedia
Days of the Week
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Sommeday Moon Knight Day Jim Tews Day Oden’s Day Thor’s Day Mr. Freeze Day Mr. Saturday Night These are the days of the week. Glen’s daughter wanted to know what Sunday was called Sunday so we explain the origins of the names of the week. The French love little princes. Gilgamesh deserves a day.

Corduroy

Improvised Wikipedia
Corduroy
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Corduroy is bumpy cloth that’s ribbed for your pleasure. It is basically fabric fjords. Jon super doesn’t know what corduroy is even a little bit. How does one corduroy? You roll loose fabric through a pasta machine, obviously. There’s no practical reason for corduroy. People wearing corduroy probably don’t smell *great*

Stratego

Improvised Wikipedia
Stratego
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It’s pronounced (struh-tee-jo). James R. Frontbutt invented Stratego. Glen and Jon like smashin’ pieces together. One is the loneliest number and Stratego piece. 9’s are basically pawns from chess (Jon brought up chess first this time!) Players think more about where to put pieces than is probably necessary. Nobody knows what the S piece stands for or does. (It stands for “sneaky boy”) L’ATTACK!  

The Crying Game

Improvised Wikipedia
The Crying Game
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The frog is saying, “Why’d you sting me?” and the scorpion is saying, “That’s my whole deal.” Neither of these fools has seen The Crying Game so this one’s buck wild. The Crying Game could have been a book, but it’s definitely also a song. Jon and Glen accidentally wrote a pretty solid amish teen murder comedy. The Crying Game sounds really intense but we’ve still never seen it. We won’t watch it and you can’t […]

Sesame Street

Improvised Wikipedia
Sesame Street
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You get to Sesame Street by following your heart. Bert and Ernie gonna regulate. Appearing on Sesame Street is a career goal of Glen’s. Getting kidney stones pulverized is a sometimes food. Telly is barely keeping it together. Sesame Street did a 9/11 episode. Oscar the Grouch isn’t a Time Lord but he’s got like two things in common with Time Lords.

Bluetooth Headphones

Bluetooth Headphones
Improvised Wikipedia
Bluetooth Headphones
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Ole’ King Blue Tooth died of copper toxicity probably. Glen used to review Bluetooth headphones. Bluetooth was built to make computers talk to each other real close. Tim Cook has weird ears and Apple headphones are bad. A lot of grumpuses this episode. Rate and subscribe in iTunes please.

Ferrets

Improvised Wikipedia
Ferrets
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Ferrets got stank glands. Names for ferrets: Tube rats, stretchy moles, elongated hamster, hotdog vole, drinking straw mouse, play-doh snake rodent, the flightless linguine bat. Ferrets aren’t real. They’re cryptids like bigfoot. Glen had another kid. This week’s episode brought to you by Umbrellas. Is It Raining? Get One!

Podcasts

Improvised Wikipedia
Podcasts
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James Taylor wrote Hash Pipe and a lot of the Green Album. We’re legally required to mention Serial. People complaining about vocal fry are dumb idiots. Podcasts were invented by someone at MTV maybe? Jon’s pretty sure. Brought to you this week by The Batsignal. Batman is tired. Subscribe and rate our show please.

Air Conditioning

Air Conditioner
Improvised Wikipedia
Air Conditioning
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Wilson and Willis are basically the same name and Wilson/Willis Carrier invented air conditioning to save comedy. We said Richie Warmkessel was bad but he’s our friend. Love that frosty air! 5,050 btu/hr is the optimal btu/hr. Bill and Pam Tickle are ice cold. You make freeon by crushing up diamonds or something. Patrick Stewart should have been Mr. Freeze instead of Arnold. PRINTING PRESS!

Ibogaine

Improvised Wikipedia
Ibogaine
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Ibogaine is definitely something. It’s the smell inside of a mascot mask. A drug probably? Richie Warmkessel is bad. Some celebrities died from ibogaine abuse… probably? Andre the Giant was 17 feet tall when he died. Always keep Safe Search on when looking for Zootopia characters. Subscribe in iTunes or wherever you get podcasts. Pocket Casts is a really good podcast app.

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