Ferrets got stank glands. Names for ferrets: Tube rats, stretchy moles, elongated hamster, hotdog vole, drinking straw mouse, play-doh snake rodent, the flightless linguine bat. Ferrets aren’t real. They’re cryptids like bigfoot. Glen had another kid. This week’s episode brought to you by Umbrellas. Is It Raining? Get One!
James Taylor wrote Hash Pipe and a lot of the Green Album. We’re legally required to mention Serial. People complaining about vocal fry are dumb idiots. Podcasts were invented by someone at MTV maybe? Jon’s pretty sure. Brought to you this week by The Batsignal. Batman is tired. Subscribe and rate our show please.
Wilson and Willis are basically the same name and Wilson/Willis Carrier invented air conditioning to save comedy. We said Richie Warmkessel was bad but he’s our friend. Love that frosty air! 5,050 btu/hr is the optimal btu/hr. Bill and Pam Tickle are ice cold. You make freeon by crushing up diamonds or something. Patrick Stewart should have been Mr. Freeze instead of Arnold. PRINTING PRESS!
Ibogaine is definitely something. It’s the smell inside of a mascot mask. A drug probably? Richie Warmkessel is bad. Some celebrities died from ibogaine abuse… probably? Andre the Giant was 17 feet tall when he died. Always keep Safe Search on when looking for Zootopia characters. Subscribe in iTunes or wherever you get podcasts. Pocket Casts is a really good podcast app.
Aliya Brown wants to know about whittling… whiddling? People do it with knives. ONE KNIFE. One person. One tool. One piece of wood. Beavers whittle… whiddle? They do it with their teeth. The term comes from taking a big stick and making it whittle. The point of whiddling is a dull knife. Camping is boring. Please someone talk to Glen about chess so he stops bringing it up during unrelated episodes.
Sometimes it’s nice to rub velcro on your face. This picture is of a velcro sushi toy. Astronauts love velcro. Tommy Velocity and Jamie Crowbar invented velcro by kissing with braces and a beard. Nylon’s the best polymer and rayon can F*** right off Sticky stuff gonna stick. Just let it do what it do. Featuring Aliya Brown!
Puns are great. Feghoots are better. This image is a cave painting of the first recorded pun. Not all puns are dad jokes and not all dad jokes are puns and some dad jokes are puns and some dad puns are feghoots. Go leave a pun in your 5-Star review of this show on iTunes
Reality exists even when people don’t. There are 17 multiverses and Batman’s in all of them. Igneous rocks will outlast us. There’s some nonsense about caves and shadows. Subscribe in iTunes or you’ll be banished to Earth14 with Pink Grumpy Batman
Zombies were invented by George Romero even though the word doesn’t appear in Night of the Living Dead. Zombies are racist. They really like brains, huh. Neither Jon or Glen actually like zombies, but they both know a lot of actual things about them, so we’re pretty on the ball this episode. Subscribe now in iTunes OR ZOMBIES WILL EAT YOUR FACE OFF
Alphabet soup predates the alphabet by thousands of years. Soup was invented by a sad bear who needed to learn to work together and make friends. We didn’t mention it in the episode, but sometimes after Glen eats soup everything smells funny for a little while and it’s not because it gets stuck in his mustache. Does this happen to anyone else? He’s asked a lot of people, but nobody else seems to know what […]